I'm not going to lose you
by Blood Red Kiss of Death
Summary: Lily and Eric find out what happened in Prague.


**Title: **I'm not going to lose you  
**Disclaimer:** 'Gossip Girl' belongs to Cecily von Ziegesar, Josh Schwartz, and the CW. No copyright infringement intended.  
**Summary: **Lily and Eric find out what happened in Prague.  
**Spoilers: **post S3 finale  
**A/N:** Because we'll never get their reactions, so I might as well write it.

* * *

"Is this Lily Bass?" asked a female voice in accented English.

She hadn't been called that in quite some time. The number was unrecognizable. Confused, she answered with a yes.

And the next minute passed in a blur.

_Hospital. Prague. Charles. Gunshot._

Somehow she made it through the phone call with the nurse. Hanging up, she slumped against the couch. Her vision hazy, voices in a far-off whisper, hands on her body didn't register.

Some time passed, maybe a minute, maybe an hour; she wasn't sure. She slowly came to. Eric was calling to her. She turned to her son.

"Mom? Who was it? Is the cancer back?"

Because after William's departure, she did get the second opinion that Rufus wanted from the start.

She shook her head. No, she was in good health, as long as she remembered to breathe.

"Charles," she finally spoke, voice shaky.

Eric shut up for a moment at the tone, thinking what his brother could have said to make Lily so scared. Chuck was over the "whore" name-calling phase. He had been so worried over the cancer battle. There should be no bad blood there.

"What does Chuck want?"

Lily shook her head, crying, no, _wheezing_. She was hyperventilating.

First Chuck takes Jenny's virginity, and now makes Lily have a panic attack. He loved his brother, he did, but Eric was ready to bitch the guy out.

And just as the last thought hit, she said it.

"He's been shot."

Eric immediately paled. "What? Who was that?"

Rufus returned with a glass of water after leaving at some point.

Lily took a gulp to clear her throat. "That was a hospital in Prague. Somehow my contact information was given in case of an emergency."

"Prague?"

She nodded.

"He got shot in Prague," Eric repeated.

Again, she nodded.

"He is in a hospital in Prague. In the Czech Republic."

Tears were rolling down her face as she nodded.

"Why are we sitting in our living room, in New York, when Chuck is dying in fucking Prague?" his voice getting louder at every word.

"He's not dying," Rufus immediately jumped in.

The room went silent, waiting for Lily to respond.

"He's in surgery."

"And why are we sitting here?" Eric yelled, still sitting, unable to move his feet.

Rufus shoot up. "I'll go book tickets."

Lily's hand shot up. "I will call the Bass plane."

**XOXO**

The plane ride had been the longest-waking, quietest eight hours of Rufus' life. He had tried card games, Scrabble (because of course he brought it along), movies, and even medication for them.

Half an hour into the flight, Eric ended up taking another one of his anti-depressants – it was also used for anti-anxiety – and managed to fall asleep after his heart rate returned to normal.

Lily, on the other hand, refused the valium offer. She wanted to be awake, lucid, if there was another call. Rufus said he would answer, but his wife just glared, causing him to promptly shut up and leave her be for the duration of the journey.

**XOXO**

By the time they arrived at the hospital, Lily was calm; too calm, too poised, too perfect, too much the society matron. At the front desk, she asked to speak with the doctor about her son. The nurse immediately turned to get someone who spoke English. The nurse from the phone call came over, and Lily, remaining calm, asked to speak to Charles Bass' doctor. The nurse nodded, but before leaving, Lily called her back, asking if she could see her son. The other woman gave her a weary smile and told her the doctor would be here in a few minutes. _Please have a seat_.

Numbness washed over her again, and she walked to the chairs, sitting down. Eric and Rufus came and sat on either side.

Soon the doctor walked over. "Mrs. Bass?"

"Yes?" she jumped up. "Charles, how is he?"

_Bullet is out. No major arteries hit._

She sighed in relief. "Oh, thank heavens. Can I see him?"

The doctor frowned and looked at the men beside her before looking back at her. "Mrs. Bass, your son is in a coma."

"What?" Eric's jaw dropped.

"He hasn't woken up yet. I'm sorry. If you follow me, I'll show you to his room."

The trio followed.

One step into the room and Lily gasped, choking on a sob. The sight in front of her mirrored the moment a year-and-a-half ago when her husband lay dying.

"If you need anything, call the nurse," the doctor said quietly.

Rufus nodded. "Thank you."

"Lils?" he put his hand on her back, but she flinched, moving out of his reach.

Eric was already at Charles' bedside.

"Rufus, I think we need a few minutes alone," she stated, voice cold. She needed him out. Charles would never wake up with him in the room.

Instead of protesting, he silently walked out, closing the door behind him.

Lily was rooted in her spot, unable to move toward her sons.

How did they get to this point?

Bart died. Charles disowned his family. Jack. Getting Charles back. Cancer. Beating cancer. At what price? Being in a Czech Republic hospital while her son was in a coma from a gunshot.

She started sobbing, pain stabbing her chest, feet still unable to bring her to him.

Is this why Charles had waited so long to visit her? The fear of death, of helplessness, so powerful it keeps you away?

It took Lily another couple of minutes before her feet could move. She was on Charles' other side. While Eric was in a chair, she sat on the edge of the bed, watching the pale boy with a tube in his mouth and wires everywhere. The only sound was of the machines, telling them he was still alive.

Lily grabbed his hand, hoping for some kind of recognition from him. She would gladly take his yelling right now, anything to prove he was alive.

After another five minutes, she leaned over and kissed his cheek before whispering in his ear. "Wake up, Charles. Please. The lifetime of family brunches will not end now."

She took a deep breath to try to stop the tears from returning. She squeezed his hand. "I'm not going to lose you," she repeated his words from the Columbia gala.

"I'm not going to lose you," she said again, voice weak. She choked up and silent tears rolled down her cheeks.

* * *

**.end.**


End file.
